Thursday, 13 October 2016

Happy Diwali Policy

 Diwali is almost here and it's time for me to talk about 'say no to crackers.' Well, that's what people expect from a blogger and that's what a friend thought I'd do. He loves crackers and hates people who 'say no to crackers' and worse he loves kids who start bursting crackers ten days prior to Diwali! Last year, I shared my idea of a 'Happy Diwali Policy' and boy, it made sense to a lot of people but some people asked me what will kids do instead of burning crackers? I was taken aback for a second but well, they made sense too because unlike elders, kids don't play cards, do they? If yes, I'll be ashamed because I can just bluff! Anyway, I am against people going to card parties everyday because I hate it how these parties are  defining Diwali(I'll drop a link in the end where I talk about my take on our festivals and how we're losing our traditional charm) so, I thought let me put a list of things that I would have loved to do if was a 'cracker obsessed crack kid!'
 Readers who don't know what is PK's 'Happy Diwali Policy' then this is what I mean and this is why I feel I am the smart one!
So, according to the policy, the government  bans crackers in every hook and corner of our country and it's only on the day of Diwali that every household irrespective of their incomes gets a cracker subsidy. A box of limited crackers like phuljhadi and anaar! A box per household. A box that gives happiness. A box that makes sure we do not feel guilty while bursting crackers and also the festival doesn't lose its essence because bursting crackers is a part of our rituals. But unfortunately, we go overboard with it. Last year I shared this idea with a friend who is a media person and he told me that something similar happens in the west too and that's why nobody questions when they burst crackers. Also, their fireworks are beautiful unlike ours that focus just on the noise.
Now, coming back to the list of things 'cracker obsessed crack kids' and 'card parties obsessed juwari's can do ten days prior to Diwali
Day One
First things first calculate the amount you spend on crackers then buy some interesting food items like Pizzas, burgers, etc.. Second, select an NGO of your choice and distribute the food items to the needy. Why pizzas and burgers? Well, unlike us they don't have the luxury to feel what cheese tastes like. I am sure they have had enough of puri cholay and aalu by now! And don't distribute it to the beggars because they got enough money, trust me they do! I will blog about it super soon!
Day Two
Attend a Diwali Mela.  Google a Mela in your area, dress and show up! If Mela's aren't your thing then try Dilli Haat. It's my go to go place if I am craving some good food and fruit beer!
Day Three
Learn how to make diyas and pots. Once you learn the art, start making some at home, paint them and by the time Diwali comes you will have your own  'Do It Yourself' as in DIY diyas. Also, painting is like meditation and given the hectic lives we have, we do need something that can calm us down.
Day Four
Go shopping! Oh come on, who doesn't like to shop? Well, if you  know someone who doesn't then shop for them because everybody deserves to look their traditional best on Diwali!
Day Five
Go to a nursery and adopt a plant! Money is made out of paper. To build more paper we need more trees. And you cannot buy a tree, you need to plant a sapling, take care of it and later the money will take care of you! Also, it's necessary for kids to know the importance of planting isn't just a science answer they need to learn. IT IS SERIOUSLY IMPORTANT!
Day Six 
Clean your house because that's one of the most important things to do during Diwali. And lazy asses like me have to do that or else Mother India won't gift me anything!
Day Seven
If you read my last post you would know how upset I am because most of us don't know anything about our tradition. So, on day seven pick up any festival and read up about its history, relevance, etc.. Trust me, it will be worth it!
Day Eight
Call up a friend you love shopping with but don't shop for yourself. No, don't shop for your families either but shop for those who don't get wear new clothes on Diwali like you and me. Also, I am not saying buy outfits for twenty people, putting a smile on one pretty face would be amazing if you can do that! And you don't have to go to a mall there are so many weekly markets. Don't you think it'll be fun to shop at a weekly market with your friends? I have never done that and I am definitely going to do this!
Day Nine
Go workout because you're going to gorge on plenty of sweets the next day. Also, it's chothi Diwali so decorate your house, dress up and go for a card party!
Day Ten
And it's Diwali! So, make sure you spend time with your family and decorate the entire house with them because if Deepika Padukone can do it in 'reel life' for an advertisement then well, we the real people can and should definitely do it! Also, remember the 'Happy Diwali Policy' and burst only one box of phuljadhi and anaar!
Well, did I do all these things during Diwali way back in school or do I do all these things now? I don't because I thought of these ideas while I was thinking of writing my next blog post. And way back in school, I was crack but not cracker obsessed. All my attention used to be focused on hiding my mid-term exam papers in a hard to find corner because I did not the 33/80 in Math to ruin my Diwali!
Happy Diwali, everyone! I wish you have the best Diwali ever! Also, remember it's a festival of lights so, ignite the light of your dreams and not destruction :D
P.S. Comment down below things you and your family do for Diwali other than bursting crackers and attending card parties!

Read my take on our festivals and how we are traditional charm-

                                                 That's me relying on last year's Diwali selfie! 

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