Thursday, 23 June 2016

Feelings of a Keratoconus patient after reading 'The Kite Runner'


                                (Pk isn't allowed to apply  kajal as in kohl that often but when she does she makes sure it's on fleak and her eyes are worth all the droll!)

Tuesday, 21 June 2016

Life, conservative families and rebelling with a cause!

I thought of starting a separate blog with Doctor Nobby and I found an article related to the same in my notes. I edited it and thought of sharing it with you all!
Being a part of a conservative family never really had any perks. Somebody would drop you and pick you up from school and tuition. There comes a point in your life when even if you can you won't bunk classes because you are so scared of your parents and fear they might lose their temper. Also, with the values they have inculcated, you feel it's not right!
I started taking coaching classes in ninth standard and never bunked a single class up till twelfth. Even though there were times when I could but I still did not. There were times when my parents did not drop or pick me up from my coaching classes and I walked back home with friends. Though only female friends because I usually did not talk to the boys in my class because they weren't my type. All of them seemed weird to me for some reason and no, I wasn't a lesbian and I am still not. And no, I don't have a problem with homosexuality or homosexuals but what I am saying is I don't fall in that category. And I had to elaborate this because we live in a world where there is a comment section to every action. Coming back to the 'weird tuition boys' I feel they too never wanted to talk to me maybe coz they were scared of me because of my mother! She once  shouted on all of them and told the head of the 
institution that boys gang up up on the front gate and don't give girls space to walk on purpose. That's my bold and beautiful mom for you!
Once after my class got over I bumped into a school friend who was walking outside my coaching and also happened to be my neighbour.  'Let's walk back home together?', she asked. Before I could say anything another girl who I did not know was standing behind me interrupted and informed my friend that my mother comes to pick me up! My friend laughed at me because it took exactly  seven minutes by walk to reach my home. I felt really bad and kept on thinking about it at home. Why? Why do my parents do this? Why can't I walk back home myself? It's not that far and all my friends do it and even I can. My past records are clear. I was never caught bunking classes and sitting at some sleazy 'sheesha bar' with random guys they had no idea existed in my life.  Why do they lock me in the house when they go outside? My friends call each other and party when their parents leave, I haven't done all this. And they know I never will because I am not that type of a person and I have immense respect for my parents and won't do something that they won't appreciate.
It's 2016 and I am twenty one. Have my parents changed? Pretty much yes! I am now allowed to go for movies alone. I am allowed to travel in a metro. They know I bunked almost all my classes in college. In fact, when I was nineteen they let me travel all alone to China and do an internship. They allow me to go clubbing but I come back home early because I don't really enjoy the vibe at all! There have been instances where my father has prepared a drink for me. But I am still not allowed to do night stays and if they go out for more than two hours they'll lock me in the house. If they go out for trips, I am either dropped at my Nani's house or my Nani gets stuck with me in mine. So, you see I have never had days or nights where I can invite my friends for a party! If I have to go to a new place for an interview or an assignment they make sure that somebody goes with me weather its my brother, or even Nani for that matter! Well, they still have the authority to chose my friends and say no if they never liked a friend I said I am going out with. Yeah, I do feel like I am four! Sometimes I do feel bad and awkward because I am twenty one and I should be allowed.
But I still smile and say nothing when my friends ask me why aren't you allowed to go for night stays or party with us till whee hours? Because I look back in time when my parents never allowed me to do anything. And if looking back doesn't work then always look at those who don't get the little freedom that I do.
So, to all those girls and boys who're cribbing that their parents aren't 'cool' enough like others then
STOP! If you're  saying that they don't want you to meet that friend of your's then CHILL! Because they accurately judged that friend when they first saw him/her and they know the one's who you deserve your time and attention and the one's who don't!
Always remember to be a rebel with a cause. So, if they are allowing your brother to do what they did not allow you to do then fight for it. Well, because Gender equality is a cause! 

Monday, 13 June 2016

Probably the first and last 'Unofficial' School Reunion!

Conversations have been up for a long time, some more people have been added and then their are some who to my surprise are leaving the group. I mean why would anyone leave a Whatsapp group that says 'School Reunion 2016'
Honestly, I miss the absence of 'unofficial' attached to it. It brings back fun memories and also, it's dearth shows a sign of aging! I graduated from school in 2013 so, luckily there are no signs of aging on the face!
After weeks of planning about twenty-twenty five girls gave their final nod to show up at the 'Reunion.'  Honestly, I was extremely skeptical of attending it because none of my friends with whom I have been in touch with since school were coming. But I still decided to drop my tag of 'Miss Anti-Social', got dressed in my favorite boot-cut denims, white top with mesh detailing on the back and left! 
(*Pk is an aspiring fashion designer and stylist. So,get used to some fashion terms dropping here and there!*)
It was sad to only see fifteen people out of one fifty who were added to the group. It was disappointing because a major chunk of those girls proudly use hash tags like #ThomasiteForever, #onceathomasitealwaysathomasite, etc..The same bunch of girls cried their heart out on the  farewell because they were going to miss the red bricks, the checkered winter skirt, Sareen Sir's whistle and the entire Thomasite family that protected them for fourteen years of their life, in my case five! And also, sad to see how so many people who couldn't make it to the reunion because they had exams, work, etc. but were chilling at home!
 I know we might not have been the best of friends or even Facebook friends for that matter but we were a part of something that gave us an identity and a sense of belonging. The idea was to recollect memories that somehow still unite us  because the precious 'Thomasite' tag isn't going  anywhere all our lives. Don't you think it would have been lovely to talk to people with whom you once shared the sambhar and dosa in the same plate. Mimic teachers, think about that day when the entire class was made to stand outside the Principal's office because you made the new and nervous B.ed teacher cry or the day when the entire class was dancing right above the Counselor's office while there was a meeting going on about our future! Well, that's what we did apart from eating food from the same plate like we did in school, not giving two fucks or judging someone who just ordered vodka shots and saying,'OMG. You have a boyfriend?!'
I knew after lunch I won't go back home with a set of new best friends but I was curious to see how people who shared the same school building with me looked after three years in person and not on social media! I was excited to see how much three years can impact people and change their personalities well, mine has completely changed. I am no longer the under confident, ugly and average person I was back in school!
I won't say we had a blast or it was the best lunch of our lives but honestly, it was nice! 12.05.2016 was worthy enough for me to remember and treasure. 
Also, to all those who have a school reunion that they are planning to miss- Don't!  Because reunions are beautiful and you should go for the one's you have because they don't happen often. If you're someone who hasn't really been in touch with anyone from school  or are  happy with the set of friends you have- Go for it! You'll get to meet the members of the popular gang who are now leading ordinary lives! Attend it  because reunions are a place to  learn, network and most importantly recollect memories. Recollect memories with people you weren't friends with but had crossed paths and passed smiles or helped each other cheat in that Chemistry exam. Go because you might get a chance to clear the misunderstandings with the girl who once was your best friend, soul sister and basically everything but is now on your Facebook block list!
The girl who planned it all was so disappointed that I highly doubt there ever will be a reunion again unless of course, our beloved school decides to 'officially' organize one. And if another reunion doesn't happen then I'll be sad because I won't get to personally witness the otherwise filtered life on Snapchat of my  friends from school! 


                                  (The group who recollected memories!)
(The boot-cut denims and unfortunately I don't have a picture with the meshed detailing on the back!)

Friday, 10 June 2016

Women, facial hair and androgen's!

I recently looked at all the blog posts I have written so far and realized my blog has had a lot more to do with relationships and my vacation with it! The new name that is 'PK Speaks', however, empowers me in someway and I feel like talking about things I never have. So, I made a list and the first thing that came to my mind was- 'Women with Facial Hair!'
I too have facial hair and I hide it with a 'De-Tan bleach' and no, this ain't a beauty post. I hide it because I don't have the confidence to flaunt it. One because we don't have something like a no shave/wax/bleach November or December for women. I guess some men are too scared that we will beat them in this category as well. You see, we women can do everything! Two because bleach gives you a nice glow and women without facial hair know that. They too apply bleach. Also, it gives me more confidence because I know nobody will comment on my 'daadi!'
I too have been mocked because I have facial hair and did not apply bleach back then. The mockery never bothered me to an extent that I'd stop talking to those people or cry on Mama's lap! 'Mard', 'Daadi wali', etc. were two out of the several names some people used to define me because my facial hair was visible and according to them it made me look less feminine! 
Hair according to many is an important aspect that defines femininity and masculinity. If that's the case then Anil Kapoor is masculine and Tiger Shroff who I think is very hot defines femininity. As a student of sociology I feel guilty to say that but that's what people think, right?
Recently, I saw status updates of a friend who was asked about her gender because  she had facial hair. Some even called her Transgender but kudos to her for not slapping the creeps like  I would have! 
We live in a society where the rich are  getting richer, poor getting poorer and uneducated and unaware are enjoying their illiteracy. 
Why some women have facial hair or more hair on their body than others? Well, it is because of the presence of androgen's( ''male harmones'') in high levels in their blood. Every women has androgen's in their blood but the level varies and so does the hair. In some cases androgen's come from  medications, birth control pills and other steroids that 'indirectly' cause the body to make extra androgen's. Abnormality in the ovaries, hormonal imbalance are just some other reasons why androgen's are present in high levels in some women!
What really bothers me sometimes is women making fun of other women who have facial hair. I've quoted Madeleine Albright before but I'll do that again today-
''There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women''
So ladies, please if you think my facial hair makes me look less prettier than you then meet me at the runway! Also, more androgen's in the blood could also be the reason why I got bushy eyebrows and you got that brow pencil. That was either very hypocrite of me or I was just taking 'eye for an eye' too seriously!
Anyway, so does the mockery clan and the peeps who aren't really interested to educate themselves, get the point? It's internal, it's not a problem and it's totally natural! Femininity and masculinity are an illusion, kindly live and let live! 
I'd like to conclude with a small message for women who got some extra androgen's in their blood like me-
''Don't wax your face. The hair that comes after waxing is very poky. Also, your skin will wrinkle earlier than it should. Go for bleach instead or chose a hair removal treatment or 'NOTHING' if you're confident with the extra androgen's unlike me. We women are constantly shamed for whatever we do or have whether it's boobs or cash . So why not go ahead, conquer the world and do whatever the fuck we want to! I won't sympathize because you got facial hair, we sympathize where there is a problem and this is 'NOT A PROBLEM!' You're beautiful, amazing, strong and you are 'PERFECTLY FLAWED''

Tuesday, 7 June 2016

When we walked out!

     It's funny how we promise each other a lifetime of happiness but does happiness really mean staying together? Sometimes sticking together is equivalent to tears, sorrow and hatred. And that is the most scary thing about love, you either marry or you break up! You either stick together happily or leave each other to find happiness and leave behind the wretchedness.
These are the kind of feelings I  experience when  once in five months I stumble upon his  profile and look at his picture. I travel back to where it all started in school with lots of smiles and a blush the moment he walked in front of me to the times when we wiped each others tears and promised each other a lifetime of happiness.  Then I  travel a little further only to realize how broken our bond was and how just 'looking good together' wasn't enough. And then I reach a phase where we both stepped ahead to fulfill our promise of  giving each other a lifetime of happiness by walking out of a relationship we had built over a span of two years with love, promises, passion, tears, fights, flaws and hope.
We left each other to find what we couldn't give each other- Happiness!
 A random post on a not so random day!