Thursday, 27 August 2015

Romancing With Life!

So, I was planning another comeback on the blog and asked a friend for suggestion and that's how it all happened again, after months! Me: Hey, Dr. Nobby! I am planning a come back on my blog. Could you please suggest me some ideas?
 Dr. Nobby: I have a suggestion but you might not be comfortable writing about it.

 Me: Bring it on!
 Dr. Nobby: Relationships and breakups. Adolescence. How young teens fancy themselves in true love and then become disillusioned when their partners don't turn out to be what they seemed to be. How relationship should be more than a status symbol and forever alone is a stupid tag! I wanted to write on it myself but now I think you're much more qualified to write on the
 Me: Umm..Okay!Thanks I'll respond soon.
 Dr. Nobby: I am not your boss. So, chill and relax! Just send me whatever you write. 

I thought we were compatible because- We loved country music, hated Math, loved talking about movies and in short enjoyed each others company because we had 'some' common interests. These interests made sure we talked every day. Every day meant every day! No excuses but everyday! What happened after that? Well, addiction. Addiction which we thought was love. Love that we thought would last forever. I was sixteen when I decided that if it's not him then it's no one. I decided I wanted to marry him and I am sure we were on the same page for sometime. We thought James Blunt and Jason Mraz were enough to make  sure we got through. He would be the sorted photographer or director and I would be the designer. His friends became my friends and his world became my world. I was lost and aimless. The girl who once was passionate about designing suddenly disappeared. All I wanted to do was talk to him and be with him. He double-dated me but I refused to believe and did not let him go. He wanted to break-up but I wanted to stick around and managed to convince him to stay. After a year or so I realized we weren't happy together. He only cared about his friends, his camera and of course, about himself! I wasn't just lost in my own world but  my presence in his life had started to fade too. I was depressed but I was in love (addicted) and did not have the courage to confront. 
Eventually he decided to drop the tag we carried and the tag which was my identity. The tag of being in a relationship! This time I did not convince him to stay and it was the end of two people that everyone thought and  I believed were one! I wasn't happy and the buckets of tears indicated that really well. I became like this photo that every broken girl must have shared on Facebook or Instagram at least once. 

 It was my Whatsapp profile picture too! I stopped giving second thoughts about anything or anyone. I followed the worst advice of keeping myself busy instead of dealing with it or talking it out. I ran away and then one day I stopped because I had no other option. Even Usain Bolt has to stop so that he can regain his stamina for the next run! I had to stop so that I could give up on the forever alone tag that I picked up from stupid Facebook posts while I running from my past. Past which I thought was love.
  It was infatuation, addiction and he was a rebound!  A rebound that made me smile and made me forget about all the stupid problems that I thought were nothing short of a hurricane in my life. I finally stopped.  Then I found myself., my lost friends, dreams that I forgot existed. I stopped to regain stamina for love and not addiction as now I knew the difference. How? I gave myself chances. No, I did not get into relationships or go on random dates. I gave myself a second chance by patiently learning from my past. I did not find refuge in people or intoxicants. I welcomed the chance and allowed it to change me. I still  believe in fairy tales but with a different perspective. Cinderella had her share  of struggles before she married the Prince  She believed, showed courage and did not give up. Honestly, I get depressed when people say life is not a Fairy Tale. Life is and will always be Fairy Tale. All our beautiful princess had their share of troubles but they never gave up! And that's exactly what Disney tries to teach us- Don't Give Up!

 Get into a relationship if you feel it's right. Get a closer look if it all seems blur. Go ahead with it if you're heart says yes. Make mistakes but don't repeat them. You'll get disillusioned as it is normal. Listen if you're friends warn but do what your heart says and live the moment and make memories. Cry after you break up and realize that it wasn't love but just infatuation and you were just another rebound in the other person's life. If I can be smart enough to realize the difference between love and infatuation then trust me, you're better than me. I know Dr.Nobby isn't very pleased with the way teens react to break ups and mix love and addiction but he is one of those few persons who helped me bounce back and I am sure there is a Dr.Nobby or a Sonal and Parika (these two pretty ladies are my best friends) in your life too. So, pick up your phone and talk to that person and if  you feel there is no one then scroll down and you'll see a comment box below where in you can ask or tell me whatever you want and I promise you, I am an excellent agony aunt! 
 ''I am just twenty. If my life won't be a roller coaster and a cage of  mistakes now then I won't be the woman I aspire to be. I'll be a silly girl always. And right now I am in the process of becoming a woman and I love the process. Its fun, its annoying, it  makes me cry, learn and laugh. Its full of mistakes but its my journey and it is 'sorted' the way it is''
 I randomly said these lines a month back and someone said it's worth a tattoo and I won't disagree! So, if the riddle of love versus addiction is killing you let it bury you. It's your life and it deserves to see both good and bad before it can witness the best!