Friday, 27 February 2015

Futuristic much?

I was thinking about my next blog post, well, I know, it's pretty early for someone like me to post a new article so soon considering the fact that I have posted just seven articles in one and a half years. But as my last article was appreciated by many people and that motivated me to write more often.
I am someone who does a lot of 'future thinking' and when I say a lot, trust me, I mean it! So, while  'future thinking' was at it's peak. I decided to write a letter to the 'Future Prerna'. I know, expectations kill  but I thought it will be fun. Ever read an old letter or dairy entry from school days? Don't you feel you were extremely stupid, ridiculous, etc.. Honestly, when I read my diary entries from  high school I feel like slapping myself. I use to write dialogues like ''daulat ek nasha hai aur mein uss nasha bananein wali factory ka ek lauta malik hu'. Who does that? Well, I did and I feel so brainless about it.  I feel dumb when I re-read my previous blog posts so high school was like some years back!
I won't take a long jump and a write a letter to a twenty five year old Prerna or a Prerna who is married (eww!). So, after a lot of thinking and reasoning I decided to write a letter to a 'graduate me'. I'll graduate in Summer 2016 which is like more than a year from now. The letter will consist of both future expectations and current realities( obvious, isn't it?)  So, here it is a letter to a twenty one year old and graduate Prerna!!

Dear Miss 'Future Prerna'
I hope you cleared all your exams because I know one thing that even future can't change is the loath that you have for Sociology.  I am sure like always you must have managed to pass so, congratulations in advance!! I am sure you must have applied for a lot of fashion colleges for post graduation and if not then I am sure God must have planned something better for you because you are and have always been his favorite child.
I hope you're in the best of shape and have that dream Kareena Kapoor figure!! Are your eyes fine now? I desperately hope they are. How can I forget, boyfriend? Don't tell me you're still sharing those 'Forever Alone' pictures. You're twenty one and should have found a boyfriend now. Remember, no arrange marriage!!
You're unstable life has always bothered you both emotionally and physically and I hope that is not the case now. You never share you're deep dark secrets with anyone and that kills and haunts you but probably you've found someone who changes that. Life will always be erratic and unusual but once you start to appreciate the smaller things you will realize that the world can be as beautiful as a fairy tale. Well, maybe but just don't give in so easily. I know, you don't do that always but a few motivational lines are mandatory.
Try to control your temper, eat well, exercise everyday, keep pouting but smile more often, stay fashionable and pursue all your dreams. People everywhere you go tell you that you're extremely different from rest of the crowd so always stay the same as in different!
Live life the way you've always had. Listen to your heart, stay energetic and cheerful. Honesty is the best policy and you've stayed honest all your life and that's the only thing you're parents appreciate about you, so make sure to keep that. Hope you're regular with the blog and if not then it's never too late. Lastly, if these expectations kill you then don't dishearten yourself and save those tears for something or someone better because God has and will always love you the most. So stay happy and treat yourself well because lady, you're worth it!!!
'Prerna from Past'

That was a letter to the 'Future Prerna'. I can't say whether i will be able to live up to all these expectations but I will try my best and use this letter as a piece of motivation to get closer to my dreams. Expectations as they say can kill but if you look at the positive side they can help you work hard and can act as building blocks for future. Like a coin everything has two sides to it- positive and negative. Start looking at the positive side of life and let God create his magic!!!

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Saturday, 21 February 2015

Appreciation and Motivation

My last blog post was in October so it's been some four months now. Pretty sad I know but I never thought anyone paid any heed to my work. When I say 'anyone' I mean people who are close to me. Their have been one or two friends who have  always appreciated my work but that did not motivate me. More than appreciation we need motivation and its the lack of latter that made me not write more often.
I got an internship after my mother's friend read my blog and that was quite motivating. Then work kept me busy and one day somebody told me whatever I have written so far was nothing but stupid. His opinion I know should not have mattered to me but it did and all of a sudden I stopped writing. I know my blog posts weren't very regular but i use to write a lot of articles that I never shared. I stopped writing those as well. One guy changed my perspective towards my work and I  never wrote again after that.
A week back all my mother's friends were at my place and unfortunately this time around I wasn't there. Why unfortunate?? No, I  don't like sitting among aunties but unfortunate because the same lady who read my blog told my mother that she re-read the blog with her daughter. She told her that she wanted me to write more often as she felt i had the potential.
When my mother told me about it I obviously felt good. But the appreciation motivated me. Hence, the title- Appreciation and Motivation. Because of one guy I  stopped writing and because of one lady I started again. Why? Well, the difference should be clear. 'Boy' and 'Lady'. He is just twenty two and himself says that he does not have a very good command over the language. Whereas, the lady or my aunt is an Economics Professor in University Of Delhi. She is experienced, has brilliant command over the language and hello, she is a professor. She would not have offered me a job if she felt my work was stupid. I might not have any fan following but with being regular and of course, with time and some good work I'll definitely have people who will wait to read my blog posts and that's the day I am waiting for.
Her words of appreciation motivated me and that's the reason I am writing this. We are humans, we try, we succeed, we fail, but we need to keep trying. Their are some people like me who who stop trying and lose hope and its people like me who need appreciation to get motivation. I am not saying that you need to praise me always.
Criticism like thoughts is also divided into two categories- Negative and Positive/ Constructive. While positive leads to motivation and negative can hamper one's confidence.
There are times when people try to give out constructive criticism but end up having a fight or spoiling their relationship with the person on the other end. Here, are a few points I feel that can be employed if you want to motivate someone and give out positive criticism.

  • The most basic "rule-of-thumb" of positive criticism is: "Respect the individual, focus the criticism on the behavior that needs changing - on what people actually do or actually say." Ideally, effective criticism should be: positively intended, specific, objective, and constructive.
  • Try to put yourself in place of the target person and  consider what things would look like from their perspective.
  • Be objective, so that the person not only understands what you are saying but is also willing to do something about it. Always remember, objective criticism is harder to resist.
  • Try to avoid hostile language. Using evaluative statements increase the chance of the receiver to respond in a defensive manner. So, try and avoid that too.

Criticism always should have the goal of constructing, scaffolding, or improving a situation. Positive criticism can change the way people think. It can bring about a total change in their personality and outlook towards life. Thus, criticism can act as a birth place of change.

So, stay positive. Appreciate not just people but also the good things in life. Stay motivated and motivate. Appreciation leads to motivation which leads to a positive attitude and remember, 'positivism is infectious'.

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