Tuesday, 10 November 2015

This Diwali don't just date a patakha, burst one too!

From the past few days my facebook wall has been filled with posts like 'say no to crackers',  'enjoy a cracker free diwali', 'crackers harm the voiceless', etc. or 'diwali party with girlies', 'cards party, 'dolled up for diwali party', etc.. Where are we going? Where is the essence of Diwali that I witnessed and my little cousins don't? Where is the excitement that comes with cleaning the house, decorating it and deciding useful and fun gifts for relatives? Well, its lost and we've all reached a phase where Diwali means cards parties. dressing up better than the girl who purposely spilled wine on your favorite anarkali suit last year or throwing a better cards party than Mrs.Sharma.
I am not against these cards parties but what makes me sad is the fact that these parties have become the modern definition of Diwali. I remember writing essays in primary school about Diwali. All I would to write was, 'people burst crackers, clean there houses, eat sweets, light diyas and give gifts'. What will a second standard student write about Diwali  now or maybe five years later? 'My parents attend cards parties and my food for school the next day depends on the amount of money they won or lost! Also, I have been taught we should not burst crackers and therefore, I play video games. My mother doesn't have time to tell me why we celebrate Diwali as she knows  Google will give me twenty different stories about one festival and also because she has to go to the salon to look better than Sharma  and Sethi Aunty at all the Diwali Parties. Also, we have stencils so it only takes five minutes to make a rangoli!
The way people have been gambling during Diwali parties off late, I can totally imagine some big shot business man throwing a Diwali party in Las Vegas!
Every year after the Diwali pooja my mother goes downstairs without fail and even takes me along to burst crackers. I always try to fight with her but she only has one thing to say, 'the festival is incomplete without crackers as its only two phuljhadi's and one anaar and its a part of the ritual'. And every year we burst one anaar and two phuljhadis. Its this year when I realized she has always been right!  The festival is indeed incomplete without crackers. No, I don't hate animals and neither am I fond of pollution but what if every household bursts only two phuljhadis and one anaar on Diwali? Think of a 'Happy Diwali Policy' where crackers are banned in every hook and corner of our country and its only on the day of Diwali that every household irrespective of their incomes gets a cracker subsidy from the government. A box of limited crackers like phuljhadi, anaar, etc.. A box per household. A box that gives happiness. A box that makes sure we do not feel guilty while bursting crackers and also the festival doesn't lose its essence. I shared this idea with a friend who is a media person and he told me that something similar happens in the west too and that's why nobody questions when they burst crackers. Also, there fireworks are beautiful unlike ours that focus just on the noise. I felt so smart and intelligent as I had no clue something similar to my idea happens in the west too!!
India is one  of the most culturally diverse countries in the world. People all across the globe are intrigued by the way we celebrate and enjoy festivites. Even Barack Obama has declared a holiday in America on Diwali this year. Is it his yaarana with Modi that worked or is it because American elections  aren't far away?  Anyway, I remember how all my friends from different parts of the world at the student exchange program were stunned when I told them about the number of festivals we have and how we celebrate them. I do not want that one day we tell some foreigner that all we do on Diwali is play cards and drink. Merging and walking side by side with the western culture is only good to a certain extent. These festivals make us who we are and the way we celebrate them makes us stand out amongst others. We need to control the kids and make sure they don't start bursting crackers ten days before Diwali and only burst limited crackers on the day of the festival. Government should have something like a cracker subsidy for every household in this country. And every household includes everyone from Gupta's living next door to Bachan's and Ambani's. Diwali parties should not come to a halt but should also not become the way people look at Diwali and define it. Instead of giving your kids play stations so that you can enjoy a game of cards with a glass of wine, take them out to some Diwali Mela or show them some movie about that depicts the epicness behind the festival of lights! The velocity at which corruption is spreading in our nation, a cracker subsidy only feels like a dream but then they say, charity begins at home!
So, this Diwali don't just date a patakha, burst one too, well, only one!



Thursday, 29 October 2015

Cheers To Five Decades!!!

 I always get all my blog posts approved by Dr.Nobby before uploading them but this one particular post doesn't need an approval. It shouldn't in fact because its for the anchor of my family- My Father. 
Its a special day for all of us as he completes five decades today. So, it's not just another birthday, its his fiftieth! 
He is one of those very few person's who encourages me to write often and like I disappoint others I disappoint him too. Well, have a look at the number of blog posts I've written in the past two years and you'll know why am I carrying the 'queen of disappointment' crown! I did not want to gift him  a shirt, a pen or  a wallet and he had strictly warned us that he did not want any surprise parties. I still cannot digest the fact that  mom actually asked him weather she can throw him a surprise party or not and its all thanks to her that  he knows about this blog post  as well! Anyway, no shirts, no photo frames basically I did not want to do anything or buy anything that will give him five seconds of happiness or will be lying in his closet till it gets withered. So let me begin before it becomes too much for people to read and for Dad to start sobbing!

Dear Dad

From the time I was born till today you've made sure I got every Barbie Doll, every dress, watched every movie that hit the screens, wore every shoe that could fit(I have huge feet)  and basically you did everything you could to see me  smile. I feel blessed to have been a part of your journey from Sikri to Shanghai, your struggle has been my biggest inspiration! Even though we never really felt that you were  struggling, precisely because you made sure I got my dhai bhalle with papdi everyday for lunch! And I  still remember this because every second day you remind me how I use call curd, juice! 
I won't say you're the so called cool dad who let's his daughter party at night but you've been cool enough in your own way! Well, who sends his nineteen year old daughter  to China considering the fact she had never stepped at Rajiv Chowk metro station alone? You did and that's what makes you cool and liberal in my eyes. You fought with everyone in the family but made sure I did  the internship and went all alone! Thank you so much because I had the time of my life there. 
One thing I wish I had inherited from you is patience because after a long day at work only you can handle two monsters( mom and Naman because I am not a monster, I am a good girl).
I won't apologize for fighting because if I don't shout then who will? Also, I don't want the dull area we live in to become a haunted jungle.
You couldn't celebrate my first birthday and everything you did on the sixteenth still feels like a fairytale. I won't say that I would want a husband  like you because I don't want a husband. I want to  trouble you and mom like 'forever'. It's fun fighting with you two well, only sometimes. Like seriously only sometimes but it's fun! I won't write overused lines like daddy's princess or angel even though mom really wanted me to do that but hell, NO! Every girl is a queen bee in her head and so am I.
I hope this year you start taking things lightly and enjoy life  a bit more because of if you don't deserve to relax then who does? No family life is perfect and ours isn't perfect either. And its the little imperfections like you telling me that the world won't come to end if I miss a movie. And then  I say the world will come to an end because so many people are involved in the film making process and If I don't watch movies then they all will die of poverty.
Thank you for literally everything because if it weren't for I wouldn't be typing this well, you paid for my education and made sure to wake me up every morning during exams so that I can pass! How I wish I had the will to study for civil services but you know education and your daughter are  poles apart. But I promise you, I'll make you proud. I promise I'll not only fulfill my styling and designing dreams but I'll be a great painter and one day I'll write a book too. How about your biography? A story about a man from a small town with a big vision will surely inspire millions! Well, I will work on this soon. 
I'll have to explain you and mom everything that I have written and I'll obviously get irritated midway because that's how I am, duh! So, I'll end this now.
You've been an amazing son, a caring husband, the most patient father and a selfless human being!Keep pampering me with gifts from China every now and then because if you don't then who will? Also, don't cancel today's dinner plans!
Yours forever
Stupid, cranky, annoying, gorgeous(bleh), funny and and and AMAZING DAUGHTER. 





Also the picture is kind off old and its all thanks to you because you never take selfies with me. Well, you don't take selfies with anyone! 

P.S.- I think my nose's shape is like yours, so don't say that I have got a weird nose because if I got a weird nose you got a weird nose too!

Saturday, 5 September 2015

Happy 'Teachers' Day

Every friend, family member or others who are a part of my social circle have taught me something. And I am sure the feeling is mutual. So, this morning I just sent a thank you message to some people who've taught me things that I'll never forget. Though I wanted to personally thank every person on my list but that wasn't possible so, I thought of sharing my love for all the people in my life here. And everyone here includes people who hate me, people I hate or people who've hurt me because they've been my best teachers.  But Why would I want to thank everyone?  Well, I am celebrating 'Teacher's Day. Google says a teacher is someone who teaches you something. Well, that doesn't just count the endless list of beautiful people who've taught us a,b,c or theories of Marx. It includes so many countless others. Closer to home its obviously our parents who've taught us patience well, at least mine have taught me a lot because handling a twenty year old rebel like me needs 'patience' in bulk! But on a serious note they are our first tutors. Our grandparents, siblings, uncles and aunts they've all played  their roles as social actors in our lives extremely well.
My siblings made me realise that there exists a John Cena within me and that's the reason I am not  scared of countless horny men in our country. So, the mini WWE that happens almost every second day has taught me self-defense and I can't wait to show my skills to someone . I really can't
Anyway, we all have that favorite aunty of ours we love to meet and gain some knowledge from or how can we forget the funniest uncle in the family whose always the center of attraction.
Being the 'modern, career oriented Indian woman' that I believe I am, one thing that scares me the most is the word marriage! I develop cold feet the moment my mother talks about it because she like most of the  typically typical Punjabi mothers wants me to get married as soon as possible. So, this aunt of mine who is a professor got married after her graduation and honestly, I had no clue about it until recently. I thought she completed her education, got a job and then settled down. She taught me that how your career and marriage don't go hand in hand and if you're in-laws aren't supportive then lady, you've still got your feet in place so, instead of using them to walk around with a broom and a fry-pan in the house use them to fix your life by walking out of the marriage! Well, every person deserves to be free and independent. And no, this doesn't mean that in the next post you'll see a picture of my wedding card. No, that's clearly not happening anytime soon but I definitely look at marriage from a different angle. And that's one important thing I've learnt from her apart from the countless others.

My Nani teaches me everyday how age is just a number, my mother and father give me lessons of self love and hard work respectively. The list of things I've learnt from my family members goes on and on.
Similarly, some of my friends taught me so much through their experiences of love and heartbreaks. Trust me, if it weren't for them I would be  lying in some corner crying about being 'alone'. All my friends teach me that I am not 'alone' and no man should change the love I have for myself. I owe you all so much!
To all those really really special friends who inspire me everyday with every move. You've seen me grow as a person and you're one of the reasons I've had the courage to design, write, dance and most importantly be myself! I am sure you too have friends who teach and inspire you the way nobody does. So, thank them first!
 Everyday we all come across at least  one person who runs after us for money or food. They beg till the signal shines green or we actually give them something. Have you ever begged in front of anyone for so long to give you money so that you can buy food? And begging here doesn't mean waiting for your favorite pizza or burger! I am sure  the second time  your mother refuses to give you food you bang the door, enter the kitchen and make something as simple as Maggi for yourself. We have so many options to make sure we don't sleep without filling our stomachs. So, instead of just feeling bad about how they don't have anything and we have something which according to them is everything just give them some kindness in return. I see so many people pushing them the moment they ask  you for money or help. If you can't give them money or food just give them kindness because sometimes love is enough! In fact, they're never rude to us. We all laugh when they say "bhagwaan tumko khush rakhega'', " tumhari lambhi Umar hogi'', etc.. But aren't they making a wish for us? And I read that every wish counts and still we're rude to them. And yes, I too have read stories of how beggars earn so much but are we all Ambani's and Mittals?

Look around and you'll see that there is much to learn from every person who passes by. Every passerby has a story to tell, a story that will inspire you. Inspire you to do good and inspire you to learn from their mistakes. I learn so much about fashion by just observing people. So, every person whose wearing a good outfit teaches me something  and so does every other person who isn't.

I have literally learnt half the things about life from celebrities. Their struggle teaches me how I have a long way to go and there is so much more to life than just making money!  To all the authors who's books I've read or will read, thank you,  because every word you've written has had an impact on me!

Thankyou to all the thousands of people who've read my blog posts every time you view my blog, you encourage me!
And well, let's not forget the teachers because of whom we get to celebrate a day so beautiful and pure! If it weren't for you I would still be figuring out that it's A for apple and not orange! You've empowered me and taught me how important education is and now I am in my final year of graduation. So, thank you  to all the brave teachers who've had the patience to teach a disinterested student like me!

I really hope this persuades you to pick your phone not just to wish your teachers but every person who has taught you something so far. Tell them how they helped you because being the reason for someone's smile is the best feeling ever! Also, thank the people who've hurt you as they are your teachers too and its a sweet way of making someone feel guilty. And yes, that too is important sometimes.
If you feel awkward you can mentally thank everyone or just share this post if you feel it's worth it.
Also, don't be disheartened if nobody wishes you back or tells you that you've taught them something. Stand in front of the mirror and wish yourself because  you're experiences have been your biggest, best and most honest teacher! You've been you're own hero and always will be! So, rise and celebrate the teacher in everyone and of course, yourself!



Thursday, 27 August 2015

Romancing With Life!

So, I was planning another comeback on the blog and asked a friend for suggestion and that's how it all happened again, after months! Me: Hey, Dr. Nobby! I am planning a come back on my blog. Could you please suggest me some ideas?
 Dr. Nobby: I have a suggestion but you might not be comfortable writing about it.

 Me: Bring it on!
 Dr. Nobby: Relationships and breakups. Adolescence. How young teens fancy themselves in true love and then become disillusioned when their partners don't turn out to be what they seemed to be. How relationship should be more than a status symbol and forever alone is a stupid tag! I wanted to write on it myself but now I think you're much more qualified to write on the
 Me: Umm..Okay!Thanks I'll respond soon.
 Dr. Nobby: I am not your boss. So, chill and relax! Just send me whatever you write. 


I thought we were compatible because- We loved country music, hated Math, loved talking about movies and in short enjoyed each others company because we had 'some' common interests. These interests made sure we talked every day. Every day meant every day! No excuses but everyday! What happened after that? Well, addiction. Addiction which we thought was love. Love that we thought would last forever. I was sixteen when I decided that if it's not him then it's no one. I decided I wanted to marry him and I am sure we were on the same page for sometime. We thought James Blunt and Jason Mraz were enough to make  sure we got through. He would be the sorted photographer or director and I would be the designer. His friends became my friends and his world became my world. I was lost and aimless. The girl who once was passionate about designing suddenly disappeared. All I wanted to do was talk to him and be with him. He double-dated me but I refused to believe and did not let him go. He wanted to break-up but I wanted to stick around and managed to convince him to stay. After a year or so I realized we weren't happy together. He only cared about his friends, his camera and of course, about himself! I wasn't just lost in my own world but  my presence in his life had started to fade too. I was depressed but I was in love (addicted) and did not have the courage to confront. 
Eventually he decided to drop the tag we carried and the tag which was my identity. The tag of being in a relationship! This time I did not convince him to stay and it was the end of two people that everyone thought and  I believed were one! I wasn't happy and the buckets of tears indicated that really well. I became like this photo that every broken girl must have shared on Facebook or Instagram at least once. 



 It was my Whatsapp profile picture too! I stopped giving second thoughts about anything or anyone. I followed the worst advice of keeping myself busy instead of dealing with it or talking it out. I ran away and then one day I stopped because I had no other option. Even Usain Bolt has to stop so that he can regain his stamina for the next run! I had to stop so that I could give up on the forever alone tag that I picked up from stupid Facebook posts while I running from my past. Past which I thought was love.
  It was infatuation, addiction and he was a rebound!  A rebound that made me smile and made me forget about all the stupid problems that I thought were nothing short of a hurricane in my life. I finally stopped.  Then I found myself., my lost friends, dreams that I forgot existed. I stopped to regain stamina for love and not addiction as now I knew the difference. How? I gave myself chances. No, I did not get into relationships or go on random dates. I gave myself a second chance by patiently learning from my past. I did not find refuge in people or intoxicants. I welcomed the chance and allowed it to change me. I still  believe in fairy tales but with a different perspective. Cinderella had her share  of struggles before she married the Prince  She believed, showed courage and did not give up. Honestly, I get depressed when people say life is not a Fairy Tale. Life is and will always be Fairy Tale. All our beautiful princess had their share of troubles but they never gave up! And that's exactly what Disney tries to teach us- Don't Give Up!

 Get into a relationship if you feel it's right. Get a closer look if it all seems blur. Go ahead with it if you're heart says yes. Make mistakes but don't repeat them. You'll get disillusioned as it is normal. Listen if you're friends warn but do what your heart says and live the moment and make memories. Cry after you break up and realize that it wasn't love but just infatuation and you were just another rebound in the other person's life. If I can be smart enough to realize the difference between love and infatuation then trust me, you're better than me. I know Dr.Nobby isn't very pleased with the way teens react to break ups and mix love and addiction but he is one of those few persons who helped me bounce back and I am sure there is a Dr.Nobby or a Sonal and Parika (these two pretty ladies are my best friends) in your life too. So, pick up your phone and talk to that person and if  you feel there is no one then scroll down and you'll see a comment box below where in you can ask or tell me whatever you want and I promise you, I am an excellent agony aunt! 
 ''I am just twenty. If my life won't be a roller coaster and a cage of  mistakes now then I won't be the woman I aspire to be. I'll be a silly girl always. And right now I am in the process of becoming a woman and I love the process. Its fun, its annoying, it  makes me cry, learn and laugh. Its full of mistakes but its my journey and it is 'sorted' the way it is''
 I randomly said these lines a month back and someone said it's worth a tattoo and I won't disagree! So, if the riddle of love versus addiction is killing you let it bury you. It's your life and it deserves to see both good and bad before it can witness the best!



Friday, 3 April 2015

Temporally Alone

I am a sucker for romance and people around me know that. And for those of you who don't well, now, you do! The first romantic novel that I read was P.S. I Love You and since then I haven't stopped. From The Notebook to The Fault In Our Stars I've loved all of them. Trust me, when I say this, but I have literally read only about romance so far. So this post is for all those who love the idea of being in love. For heart broken ladies and gentlemen. For people who are desperately waiting for that one person to come and spread the magic of love. And for folks like me who consider themselves as a part of all the three categories.
We all know love is a priceless feeling and lucky are those who get to experience true love. I know a lot of people might say that love comes in different forms like love from family friends pets, etc.. But  terms like 'soulmate', 'life partner', 'lover', etc. weren't coined without a reason. After I broke up one of my friend's told me that it will take a really strong guy to make sure that you fall in love again. And dear friends, my friend was right! The break up  not only came as a shock but it made me feel that I will  never find anyone. I joined the 'forever alone' gang and literally hated being a part of it. Well, I still do but today I changed my own mind. And the change in mindset is exactly what I am going to share you with.
 1:00 p.m.-Dusty, sunny and noisy well, that's exactly how auto journey's are right? But there is a lot more to them when you have one of your closest friends sitting next to you. So this amazing friend of mine recently broke up and I too was extremely depressed about it because like me she too is a hopeless romantic and loves the idea of being in love. Her boyfriend loved her a lot as well but sometimes things don't turn out the way we want. Her break up was unfortunate and one could tell by looking at her eyes the amount of tears she had already shed. So, while the auto driver was doing his job, me and my friend on the other hand were busy doing our job. Our job about whining about our respective break-ups and how we will never fall in love. We felt we weren't meant for love because our  relationships took a lot more from us than we expected.
8:00 p.m.- I came back from the torture chamber as in my gym! I was just doing random things when the idea of love struck me again. And when the idea of love comes to my mind all I do is think about Nicholas Sparks and his books.  He is one major reason behind my over-boiled romantic nature. But for the first time I connected his stories to my story. My story of being 'forever alone' and his stories that aren't just about love but also about 'believing'. I know in most of his novels somebody dies in the end and we complain about it. But look at it from the other side. Every character does a get a chance to fall in love. Love that is true, love that is priceless, love that is everything you wished for! That chance may last for a month, a year or a lifetime but that chance is definitely given to you. That chance is given to you with someone you never expected it to be with. That chance changes everything. You might get that chance today. You can get it when you're forty. There could be a chance that you're in a relationship with that person. But trust me, peeps we all do get that chance. I know novels and movies increase expectations but I believe everything in life carries some amount of expectations. Some people who like reading my blogs will expect the next one to be better than the previous posts. We all have  great expectations from the next movie of our favorite actors. Our parents expect us to get good marks. We expect our friends to be honest with us. Expectations... Expectations.. Well, we were born because our mother was expecting!!
10:00 p.m.- I realize my college professors 'expect' me to submit assignments soon but like always I don't feel like opening my book, Therefore, I switch on my laptop and start writing about the so called 'change of mindset'. So while writing about it I realized that we all who consider themselves as 'forever alone' because we don't have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Well, yes, my friends we are 'alone'. But we aren't 'forever alone' we are 'temporally alone'. because one day love will come knocking at our doors . Love will empower us. Love will unite us with the soul we
dream of. Love will make us love the person we don't know but already love. Love will take it's time but it will come.
So till then stay spirited. Feel beautiful. Enjoy your 'single bells' phase. And don't worry we all get a chance to walk on the path of love with someone who loves us as much as we do. Don't forget to throw away the 'forever alone' tag because you are 'temporally alone'.










Saturday, 28 March 2015

My Best Friend

You still haven't earned any money? My friend asked me this question when I told him that I haven't earned any money till now. Well, yes, I haven't and I have no issues with it. I will be turning twenty in a few days and I haven't earned any money till now. I am in my second year of college and I have done some six internships but I  still haven't earned a penny. Yes, I have worked for free so far. All the work I did gave me happiness but not money. I know happiness won't buy me the Jimmy Choo's I plan to wear one day. I know happiness won't make me travel to places  I've always thought of visiting. I know happiness won't make me financiall independent. I know happiness won't stop those tantrums that I parents throw on me. Well, they have all the right to kill me with tantrums and taunts because what have I done with my life so far? Nothing.
Like everyone else I too am kind of obsessed with money because money will help me buy everything I dream of. Money will help me get into my favorite luxury stores and come out with hands full of bags. Money will take me to Vegas, Bahamas, Spain and all the other gorgeous countries. I can study all day long in order to attend some top notch business school that will provide me with a dream placement. With that money I can buy my Prada's and travel the world but will that give me happiness? No, it won't because that is not what I want to do. I do want to earn money and I know I will earn money in fact, a lot of it but it will take time. It will take time because I want to earn money through my dream job. I want to earn money as a designer and it will happen one day.
I did get a lot of chances to earn but I did not take up those opportunities. In fact, I took up jobs that I knew would help me advance as a designer. I took up jobs that opened my mind about social work because I definitely would like to help the needy one day. I took up jobs that taught me how to improve my skills as as writer.Yes, I did earn experience from all that I have done but more than that I achieved happiness and satisfaction. Satisfaction because I was enjoying what I was doing even though that did not give me money.
We're all running after money and I see no harm in that but I believe most of us don't run after passion. A person who was spirited about acting ends up as an engineer because there is no guarantee weather that  person will ever be able to see himself on the silver screen and if not that will he ever be a part of some broadway show. So finally he studies hard to be an engineer. He owns a swanky house, a big car and in short, he has a lavish lifestyle. But will he be satisfied on his death bed? I  don't think so because somewhere deep down he knows he did not do what he wanted to do. In fact, he did not even try. Maybe he wanted to try but it was the societal pressure that made him take a back seat? Maybe he thought people would judge him or laugh at him because he wasn't very good looking. And the list of maybe(s) won't end. But what if he tried? Maybe he would have died with a satisfactory feeling well, because he gave what he wanted to do a chance. I know everyone is not lucky enough to end up doing what they want to but they should at least give it a try. We should all give our dreams and passion a chance.
My parents never allowed me to pursue my dream but I was determined I was determined because designing has been my passion always. I fought with them but in the end the outcome was fruiful. Finally, they've given me the green signal to go and follow my heart. I can't say wether I will be successful or not. I Don't know what will happen tomorrow morning but one thing that I know is that I tried and I will keep on trying. I will try, I will work hard, I will stay courageous but most importantly I won't lose faith. I won't lose faith in my best friend. I won't lose faith in God. Yes, my God is my best friend.
Everyone says that she or he is my best friend because she or he knows everything about me. But my dear friends, no one apart from God knows everything about you. He knows what will happen tomorrow. He knows how to teach you lessons. He knows everything and above all he loves you no matter what you've done in the past. You wake up every morning because he wants to give you another chance to undo the bad. He wants you to try and stay honest. He wants you to walk in faith and not by sight because he knows the best for you.
The entire focus of my life revolves around the same idea of considering God as my bestest companion and staying passionate and happy. It took me six years to convince my parents but they did agree and I thank God for this because I had faith in him.
This brings me back to the point from where I started. So, what if I haven't earned any money? I know one day I will and I know my first paycheck will come to me from the field of my interest. I know the first amount I earn will be a lot more than I can imagine and trust me, I am very confident about it. Well, because I walk in faith and not by sight. Guess what does my best friend ask from me in return? Well, he just asks me to be honest and keep on trying. So little for so much? Now, that is what I call unconditional love.
So, stay happy, keep on trying, follow your passion and most importantly don't lose faith!!!


Friday, 6 March 2015

Men's Empowerment Day

I never thought writing a blog post could be so nerve wrecking but this thought of empowering men came to when I thought of writing something related to Women's Day and then the entire India's Daughter documentary incident happened and I felt I just had to put my thoughts in into words.
 

Yes, even after hearing what Mukesh Singh, M.L.Sharma, A.P.Singh and other male chauvinist pigs had to say I want to talk about 'empowering men'. I mean why not? We've talked enough about empowering women, we've conducted countless number of seminars, we've been part of innumerable protests but the result? Women are still getting raped every twenty -two minutes. Rapists do not ask women about  their education qualification before raping. Do they? Educated or uneducated for some men women will always be a 'sex symbol'.
We should not just empower women but we should empower men as well, by giving them moral education. A child should be taught from the very beginning that the only difference between 'pink' (women) and 'blue'(men) is biological but their value is the same. The little boy hates it when he sees his mother being bullied by his father but he does absorb the fact that yes, it is possible and even he can do that to some other woman. On Rakshabandhan the children are taught how the brother must always protect his sister. Can't we teach him that he should not only protect his sister but other women as well? And not only protect them when in need but also respect them.
Men like Asaram Bappu, Mukesh Singh, Babulal Guar, etc. aren't creatures but monsters. But on the other hand, we do have men like Javed Akhtar who stood up in parliament to support women, Akshay Kumar who runs a self-defense school for disabled women in Mumbai, Narender Modi our honorable Prime Minster who asked parents to question their sons instead of daughters and the list of 'gentlemen'  goes on.
It's true all men aren't dogs but well, most of them are and it's a fact. Only one man came to Nirbhaya's rescue. Some had raped her and others just noticed and walked by.
It's too late to teach some  flagrant people the meaning of 'humanity'. But we still have the time to develop values and attitudes among the new generation and change the ingrained perception. The perception that sees women as objects and symbol of sex.
So should we have something like Men's Empowerment Day'? If that is possible then we should have something like that. We should have a day where we empower some moral values among the boys and men. A day where men learn how to respect women hood and not consider themselves thorns on flowers.
Let's not wait for another 'Leslee Udwin' to make us realize that the nation we live in is filled men who think there is no place for woman in our society. Let's inculcate some values in men that will make us proud citizens of a nation where women are respected and loved. Is that possible? Well, I heard nothing is impossible! And if men have planned not to change then just saying, I am learning kick boxing!!
But lets not forget it's a special day this Sunday so HAPPY WOMEN'S DAY to all the beautiful women in the world. Always remember you are stronger than you think you are!!!


Friday, 27 February 2015

Futuristic much?

I was thinking about my next blog post, well, I know, it's pretty early for someone like me to post a new article so soon considering the fact that I have posted just seven articles in one and a half years. But as my last article was appreciated by many people and that motivated me to write more often.
I am someone who does a lot of 'future thinking' and when I say a lot, trust me, I mean it! So, while  'future thinking' was at it's peak. I decided to write a letter to the 'Future Prerna'. I know, expectations kill  but I thought it will be fun. Ever read an old letter or dairy entry from school days? Don't you feel you were extremely stupid, ridiculous, etc.. Honestly, when I read my diary entries from  high school I feel like slapping myself. I use to write dialogues like ''daulat ek nasha hai aur mein uss nasha bananein wali factory ka ek lauta malik hu'. Who does that? Well, I did and I feel so brainless about it.  I feel dumb when I re-read my previous blog posts so high school was like some years back!
I won't take a long jump and a write a letter to a twenty five year old Prerna or a Prerna who is married (eww!). So, after a lot of thinking and reasoning I decided to write a letter to a 'graduate me'. I'll graduate in Summer 2016 which is like more than a year from now. The letter will consist of both future expectations and current realities( obvious, isn't it?)  So, here it is a letter to a twenty one year old and graduate Prerna!!

Dear Miss 'Future Prerna'
I hope you cleared all your exams because I know one thing that even future can't change is the loath that you have for Sociology.  I am sure like always you must have managed to pass so, congratulations in advance!! I am sure you must have applied for a lot of fashion colleges for post graduation and if not then I am sure God must have planned something better for you because you are and have always been his favorite child.
I hope you're in the best of shape and have that dream Kareena Kapoor figure!! Are your eyes fine now? I desperately hope they are. How can I forget, boyfriend? Don't tell me you're still sharing those 'Forever Alone' pictures. You're twenty one and should have found a boyfriend now. Remember, no arrange marriage!!
You're unstable life has always bothered you both emotionally and physically and I hope that is not the case now. You never share you're deep dark secrets with anyone and that kills and haunts you but probably you've found someone who changes that. Life will always be erratic and unusual but once you start to appreciate the smaller things you will realize that the world can be as beautiful as a fairy tale. Well, maybe but just don't give in so easily. I know, you don't do that always but a few motivational lines are mandatory.
Try to control your temper, eat well, exercise everyday, keep pouting but smile more often, stay fashionable and pursue all your dreams. People everywhere you go tell you that you're extremely different from rest of the crowd so always stay the same as in different!
Live life the way you've always had. Listen to your heart, stay energetic and cheerful. Honesty is the best policy and you've stayed honest all your life and that's the only thing you're parents appreciate about you, so make sure to keep that. Hope you're regular with the blog and if not then it's never too late. Lastly, if these expectations kill you then don't dishearten yourself and save those tears for something or someone better because God has and will always love you the most. So stay happy and treat yourself well because lady, you're worth it!!!
Yours
'Prerna from Past'

That was a letter to the 'Future Prerna'. I can't say whether i will be able to live up to all these expectations but I will try my best and use this letter as a piece of motivation to get closer to my dreams. Expectations as they say can kill but if you look at the positive side they can help you work hard and can act as building blocks for future. Like a coin everything has two sides to it- positive and negative. Start looking at the positive side of life and let God create his magic!!!

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Saturday, 21 February 2015

Appreciation and Motivation

My last blog post was in October so it's been some four months now. Pretty sad I know but I never thought anyone paid any heed to my work. When I say 'anyone' I mean people who are close to me. Their have been one or two friends who have  always appreciated my work but that did not motivate me. More than appreciation we need motivation and its the lack of latter that made me not write more often.
I got an internship after my mother's friend read my blog and that was quite motivating. Then work kept me busy and one day somebody told me whatever I have written so far was nothing but stupid. His opinion I know should not have mattered to me but it did and all of a sudden I stopped writing. I know my blog posts weren't very regular but i use to write a lot of articles that I never shared. I stopped writing those as well. One guy changed my perspective towards my work and I  never wrote again after that.
A week back all my mother's friends were at my place and unfortunately this time around I wasn't there. Why unfortunate?? No, I  don't like sitting among aunties but unfortunate because the same lady who read my blog told my mother that she re-read the blog with her daughter. She told her that she wanted me to write more often as she felt i had the potential.
When my mother told me about it I obviously felt good. But the appreciation motivated me. Hence, the title- Appreciation and Motivation. Because of one guy I  stopped writing and because of one lady I started again. Why? Well, the difference should be clear. 'Boy' and 'Lady'. He is just twenty two and himself says that he does not have a very good command over the language. Whereas, the lady or my aunt is an Economics Professor in University Of Delhi. She is experienced, has brilliant command over the language and hello, she is a professor. She would not have offered me a job if she felt my work was stupid. I might not have any fan following but with being regular and of course, with time and some good work I'll definitely have people who will wait to read my blog posts and that's the day I am waiting for.
Her words of appreciation motivated me and that's the reason I am writing this. We are humans, we try, we succeed, we fail, but we need to keep trying. Their are some people like me who who stop trying and lose hope and its people like me who need appreciation to get motivation. I am not saying that you need to praise me always.
Criticism like thoughts is also divided into two categories- Negative and Positive/ Constructive. While positive leads to motivation and negative can hamper one's confidence.
There are times when people try to give out constructive criticism but end up having a fight or spoiling their relationship with the person on the other end. Here, are a few points I feel that can be employed if you want to motivate someone and give out positive criticism.


  • The most basic "rule-of-thumb" of positive criticism is: "Respect the individual, focus the criticism on the behavior that needs changing - on what people actually do or actually say." Ideally, effective criticism should be: positively intended, specific, objective, and constructive.
  • Try to put yourself in place of the target person and  consider what things would look like from their perspective.
  • Be objective, so that the person not only understands what you are saying but is also willing to do something about it. Always remember, objective criticism is harder to resist.
  • Try to avoid hostile language. Using evaluative statements increase the chance of the receiver to respond in a defensive manner. So, try and avoid that too.

Criticism always should have the goal of constructing, scaffolding, or improving a situation. Positive criticism can change the way people think. It can bring about a total change in their personality and outlook towards life. Thus, criticism can act as a birth place of change.

So, stay positive. Appreciate not just people but also the good things in life. Stay motivated and motivate. Appreciation leads to motivation which leads to a positive attitude and remember, 'positivism is infectious'.

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